long update

Well I guess it's been a while since I updated.

They fixed things in their TOS over at the BCS forums so I did not have to leave. Sometime I need to transfer over the EA journey posts.

They decided I do not have Celiac or Gluten Intolerance, but IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrom).

Meantime . . .

January we were matched in domestic infant adoption. Then from March 24 to today (posted backwards):


4/19 midday - can I just be selfish for one moment? I'm just upset at this entire process. Why is it some people wait such a short time? Why is it I hear them complain about their very very short wait times and suddenly they're matched or placed? I trust God has everything in control, but this truly is a rollercoaster of a ride. We've been waiting for over 2 years on the list. This week is my birthday and I turn 37. Our anniversary is coming up, that's 16 years. We have no children, are unable to conceive. Why is this blessing of children in our family being withheld?


Yes I know there are others out there who's waits are longer than our 2+ years, and I keep praying for you too. Even while being selfish, I cannot be completely selfish . . .

And yes, I hate the idea of tearing families apart to create ours . . . see, I really can't be selfish. Maybe there's a reason it's taking so long. :(

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4/19 morning

I called my SW this morning as we were supposed to. I said because of Joerg's on call we'd like to either meet this week or the week following. I said it should not make a difference if it's the week after if he's not serious about adoption (as it'd be past the 30 days). I also said if it really needed to be the 28th, Joerg could change his on call if need be. I also asked if he isn't serious about adoption, if we can't be shown to the other showings. She said she would find out.

Today I'm being passed onto a new SW. Our current one is leaving. So it will be our new SW who calls me back with answers.

ETA: The week following = into May, not the immediate next week.

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4/17 morning

I've been praying about it and continue to do so. But I woke up with this thought. Joerg is on call the 26th through the 3rd. He had already asked me if we could make it sooner or later so he doesn't have to change things all around with the schedule. It's not that it can't be done, it's just a lot easier on everyone if they don't. KWIM? It's a 3 hour car drive one way for us. So there's already 6 hours of travel time involved. So it's not like asking someone to cover just a couple hours. Anyway, I'm going to ask if the dad will meet with us either this week, or the week after Joerg's on call.

My understanding is the dad is adamant that it be the 28th. I don't know if he just cannot meet sooner or what the deal is. But I guess if he cannot meet this week, he should be able to meet the week after. My understanding is that he does not have a job. So I really don't know what the tie-up for his schedule is.

Thank you all for praying, and please continue to pray.

Blessings,
Julie

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evening update 4/16

Joerg & I agree that we should go ahead and meet the dad, so that's what we're going to do. Let God lead the way. :) Please continue to pray for everyone.

Blessings,
Julie


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4/16

Brutal honesty . . .

This is the song that never ends . . . it just goes on and on my friends. . .

Latest update:

Dad wants to meet with us. But he intends to parent. And he intends to sign the father's registry. He says he has family and friends who will help him parent. (Yes, he previously stated he already signed it, and now it's "intends" to sign.)

So you ask, why does he want to meet with us? Just in case he cannot parent after he tries to do so, he wants to be able to have us there to be able to have an open adoption relationship with his son.

Personally, I think that's kinda odd. Makes you wonder if he knows how adoptions work, and that he can chose a family?

Also suspect, is that he wants to meet with us on the 28th. This is 2 days before he absolutely must sign the father's registry in order to be able to parent.

So the questions are:

* Does he want to meet with us then, and if he doesn't like us, then has 2 days to sign the list still?
* Does he understand how adoptions work?
* Do we really go ahead and meet with him?

Next week we have the opportunity to be shown to 2 other families. Here's the catch: Cannot be shown if we're going to meet with the dad. And we have until Monday morning at 9am, when we are supposed to call our SW back and let her know if we want to meet with the dad or call it off.

They said there's still a possibility that he may change his mind when he meets with us and allow the adoption to go through. It could all be a game that he's playing with the mom (not that she's playing, I mean that he is jerking her around, and we're just fall-out).

It could be that he's playing this game as long as he is able to do so.

I really feel like we should go ahead and meet with him. But then, we end up passing over these other opportunities, that are few and far between.

Joerg & I both feel God gave us the name Elijah for a reason. And that really makes us want to meet the dad. But we need to know for sure what God would have us do. I guess we need to pray and figure out if Elijah is really this little baby, or another one that is coming. I thought it was cool how close in meaning the name we feel God gave us, and the name the mom feels God gave her are.

We do not want to be "on the hook to wait and see for just in case," I mean, our lives still go on too . . . Is he serious about wanting to parent? Is he playing a game?

Please pray for clarity.

Love,
Julie

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Well, the dad really does want to set up a meeting with us. Our social workers are trying to set it up. Right now it's looking to be possibly on the 28th. Yes, it's about 2 weeks out. But it's good news. We would be meeting with the dad and with the mom.

But it's still possible he's just checking out both options.

So please keep praying for everyone. :)

Blessings,
Julie



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4/13 - no news yet. Just wanted to share the baby's name so you can pray more specifically for the baby. :) His mom named him together with us.

Elijah Joel - The LORD is my God, the LORD is God.

Specifically, his Mom felt God gave her the name Joel, and we felt God gave us the name Elijah. And look how wonderfully they go together! :) And yes, Elijah Joel is what she calls him. :)

Elijah Joel is still in interim care. And we have no updates on the dad and what his thoughts are.


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4/7 - making this very short. The dad called to ask about open adoptions and the possibility of meeting us. But he's still checking into what his parenting options are as well.

Please pray for everyone involved, but especially for the little baby. I know it's very difficult for everyone involved right now. The baby is in interim care.

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4/5
So ... basically they're still checking but the dad called the social workers today and said he has signed the list and has a lawyer. So because of complications I won't get into, the baby would go to him. So they do not want to send him home with us right now as it would be too many moves for the baby. And we're back to square one waiting again. :( Thank you everyone for praying.

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4/4 evening:

We've decided to move forward and bring him home. :) And our pastor affirmed what we were thinking too. He said it would be for the best for him (rather than interim care (yes, mom wants him with us instead of interim care too. :) )) and the big risk we are taking would be our hearts. He said risk it. :)

So we have an email into our SW, and the mom called her SW, who will call ours tomorrow as she's been out on vacation. So please pray for us all! :)


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4/4 update:
I spoke to the mom yesterday, and she sent us pictures. She wants us to go visit him, so we're going to find out if we can.

We're seriously considering taking the risk and actually asking to take him home with us and moving forward. It's really hard to decide what to do here . . . Trying to discern God's direction in this. But I think He'd like us to trust Him and bring him home.

Joerg's asleep still . . . gotta wake him up in a 1/2 hour to go to the 1030 service this morning.

Have a blessed Easter everyone! Christ is Risen! :D

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4/1 again:
Baby is born, mom and baby are doing fine. :) 6 lbs, 14 oz, don't know height.

Thank you everyone for praying! Now please continue to pray, as baby goes into interim care tomorrow until the situation with the dad is resolved somehow. That could be up to 60 days or more.

Blessings,
Julie

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4/1
Thank you all. :)

Test - they say they think I have IBS and not celiac. I had a hard time with the test, and they really only just got it in my throat and then canceled it. My gag reflex is too great. I did warn them that they had to knock me out and well, they said they understood . . . uh-huh. I even told them how I had an endoscopy back in 1994, with no sedation, and it was really bad, and I remember everything very vividly. (It was in Germany, no sedation! ugh). They said having mild sedation would make the difference. Yup - now they agree with me and say if it's necessary in the future, they need to use general anesthesia. But they said they don't believe I have celiac, as I didn't test + on the blood test. They said they really believe it's IBS.

We've been in contact with the mom and her husband today. We're still praying for them. I don't want to put all the details of anything here on that, out of respect for her. So all I'll say is she's in delivery. Please pray for them.

Thank you so much!

Blessings,
Julie

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3/30 update - still posting here in Parenting for privacy.

Hi again,

We're still believing in God for this whole adoption, and that's where the husband & Mom are right now too. All 4 of us are praying, and waiting.

I talked to the husband tonight, and he said Mom is going to be induced on Thursday 4/1. He also said that the dad has stopped calling and stopped threatening them. But he didn't know why. He said the dad is very inconsistent.

Also on Thursday 4/1, I have my upper endoscopy to determine once and for all if I have Celiac or not (they think it's just irritable bowel).

Thank you so much for praying with us.

Blessings,
Julie
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I know some of you have asked about the change in our siggy and I need to give you that explanation. I am posting here for more privacy.

Right now as it stands, the dad would like to parent and intends to sue to do so. And it looks for all intents and purposes like he will move forward with that plan.

So to guard our hearts we have stepped back from this. It means we are back waiting in the domestic infant and embryo adoption programs.

The baby is going into interim care. The mom and her husband would still like to place with us and we remain in contact. Should the dad change his mind, and the risk period is over and we are still available, then we would adopt the baby.

So, that's where we're at.

I really ask for prayers for the mom and her husband and the dad and the little baby. Thank you so much!

Blessings,
Julie